Endless Lawn XXVI

Sunbathing

The instant that I realize

that this is the only moment that exists -

the moment that is full

of light and joy

when the sun reminds my body

that it is alive and filled with nerves

and the hairy back of my dog

is pressed against my side

her spine along my ribs

her neck and head

following the curve of my pit

and outstretched arm

I see tufts of her winter coat

either floating like sprites around me

or resting quiescent

on the bleached planks of the deck

when my spirit is full of laughter

that spills into my face

and I am whole

and she is there with me

and we will never part…

That moment

(when I think I understand

the nature of time:

infinite, boundless, untamed)

ends.

Because it is untamable;

I cannot understand it for long,

lest I forfeit my senses and my mind.

To look upon the face or faces of G-d,

to see each aspect and form,

is to become unmade as man.

To know the name that is all names

is to become nameless.

But to reach for these conceptions

is human nature.

The leaf reaches toward the sun

seeking, but never knowing

the crazy furnace heat of its surface.

So then, could a man live every instant

like a leaf?

Would it break a human mind

to forget the clock and sundial?

So that there is no past

no future, only

the instant that I realize

that this is the only moment that exists.

T. Evans, June 2023